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Random Joke
 Stolen From:  Clean laffs
 Copyright: Copyright 2001 by Pulse Direct, Inc. All rights reserved.
 Date Used:  2008-06-09
 To Sign Up: http://www.cleanlaffs.com
Jokes Walter arrived at his office late one morning and was greeted with
giggles from the pretty young receptionist.

"What are you laughing at?" asked Walter.

"There's a big black smudge on your face," said the girl.

"Oh, that!" said Walter. "That's easy to explain. I saw my wife
off on a month's vacation this morning; I took her to the station
and kissed her good-bye."

"But what about the smudge?"

"As soon as she got on board, I ran up and kissed the engine."

 Confucius say "House without toilet is uncanny." Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  ThievingJoker
 Dated:  Sunday, February 05 2012 @ 07:57 PM EST
 Viewed:  3 times  
Mailing Intros
Current Members: 3667 getting mailing / 1685 in Yahoo bouncing limbo

I'd call that a successful weekend. I played a round of golf in
the sun on Saturday, and we had some folks over for dinner.

Sunday I got the road bike out for a spin in the sun, washed,
vaccuumed and cleaned the car cleaned. Mountain bike is loaded up
for tomorrow. The driveway cleared of all the sticks from the last
wind storm.

And we're having somebody else over for dinner tonight. Oh, and
there was beer.


 Mine Shaft: What a German calls his dick. Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  ThievingJoker
 Dated:  Wednesday, February 01 2012 @ 02:26 AM EST
 Viewed:  2 times  
Mailing Intros
Current Members: 3667 getting mailing / 1685 in Yahoo bouncing limbo

Check this out. A guy at the Winter X Games pulled off a front
flip on a snowmobile. Crazyness!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQLCO9JkVeE


 Exit signs - they're on the way out. Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  ThievingJoker
 Dated:  Tuesday, January 31 2012 @ 01:38 AM EST
 Viewed:  2 times  
Mailing Intros
Current Members: 3667 getting mailing / 1685 in Yahoo bouncing limbo

Saw this in the parking garage this morning. The question is:
how the heck did they get it there?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/thievingjoker/6790422753


 A nurse is a pan handler. Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  ThievingJoker
 Dated:  Friday, January 27 2012 @ 10:05 PM EST
 Viewed:  2 times  
Mailing Intros
Current Members: 3667 getting mailing / 1685 in Yahoo bouncing limbo

One of our neighbours coated our street in liquid manure. It is
now coating our car as well. Stellar. Just fucking stellar.


 I do my own stunts Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  ThievingJoker
 Dated:  Wednesday, January 25 2012 @ 02:33 AM EST
 Viewed:  2 times  
Mailing Intros
Current Members: 3667 getting mailing / 1685 in Yahoo bouncing limbo

Monday was nice and warm and sunny during the day. Riding Monday
night was fun. The temperature was only 2C, but by the time we
were done I was hot. Probably didn't need the leggings. Trails
were muddy but that's fine when it's not raining. Lots of fallen
branches from the weekend wind storm, but surprisingly no new
trees fallen over the trails.

http://connect.garmin.com/activity/144200045

Today was warm, but the heavy rain and wind are back. Yuck.


Occasionally I get it into my head to take on little projects.
This weekend, for example, I tried to talk the girlfriend into
expanding her musical repertoire.

She's actually a fairly good singer and likes to show off her
talent at karaoke every now and then, but most of the songs she
likes to sing are country songs. I try not to hold it against her.

So I pulled up the lyrics and a video clip of 'Habanera' from Carmen
on the Internet and coaxed her into testing her pipes out on it. She
got discouraged pretty quickly, not because it is out of her range
but because figuring out how to pronounce French is no easy task.

"This is stupid," she complained after mangling the first few
lines. "Who wrote this stuff anyway?"

"Haven't you ever heard of Bizet?" I responded.

"Of course I have!"

"Oh yeah?" We have a real adult relationship. "If you know who
Bizet is, then tell me his first name."

With only a moment's thought she responded, "I'm-a-gettin'."

 In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  ThievingJoker
 Dated:  Monday, January 23 2012 @ 01:36 AM EST
 Viewed:  2 times  
Mailing Intros
Current Members: 3667 getting mailing / 1685 in Yahoo bouncing limbo

It's pouring rain and very very windy outside here today. The power
went out several times (only for a minute at a time), and once for
a bit over an hour. We got luckier than my parents. Their power has
been out for 12 hours and probably won't be back on for another 12.

For us, we stopped for lunch when the power didn't come right back
on. After lunch I fired up the generator and the power came back
on about 10 mintes later.

Spent most of the day cleaning the shop again. Got 4 out of 5 sets
of shelves cleared out. We now have a huge pile of recycling and
garbage to haul off in the truck next week.


Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the
other, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?" The other
replies, "That was no piccolo, that was my fife."

 When a habit begins to cost money it is called a hobby Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  ThievingJoker
 Dated:  Saturday, January 21 2012 @ 07:54 PM EST
 Viewed:  2 times  
Mailing Intros
Current Members: 3667 getting mailing / 1685 in Yahoo bouncing limbo

Spent the day cleaning up the shop. Made a serious dent in the
work and it is starting to look pretty good. Next up is cleaning
up the shelves that are the dumping ground for all sorts of
supplies. Screws, bolts, nails, electrical parts, wire, brackets,
hinges, latches, etc. All in one big messy set of shelves. We're
gonna save that job for tomorrow. We know how to have a good time
around here!


 Every time I ask what time it is, I get a different answer. Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  ThievingJoker
 Dated:  Friday, January 20 2012 @ 08:01 PM EST
 Viewed:  3 times  
Mailing Intros
Current Members: 3667 getting mailing / 1685 in Yahoo bouncing limbo

Got a little more snow overnight, then it turned to freezing rain
in the morning. Worked from home instead of braving the roads.


 Aviation Rule #1: Number of takeoffs must equal number of landings Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  ThievingJoker
 Dated:  Friday, January 20 2012 @ 01:29 AM EST
 Viewed:  2 times  
Mailing Intros
Current Members: 3667 getting mailing / 1685 in Yahoo bouncing limbo

It's been a bit cold and snowy here lately. The drive home on
Monday night was a bit bad. Tuesday was weird. It was snowing
then sunny then snowing again most of the day. But at then end of
the day everything froze. Slick sidewalks, slow traffic! Actually
took a snow day on Wednesday. Had to use the snow blower to clear
out the driveway. Now they are predicting snow and freezing rain
tonight and tomorrow. I think I'm going to work from home.


 Prison walls are never built to scale Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  ThievingJoker
 Dated:  Sunday, January 15 2012 @ 09:00 PM EST
 Viewed:  4 times  
Mailing Intros
Current Members: 3667 getting mailing / 1685 in Yahoo bouncing limbo

Strange weather this weekend. Was supposed to snow, but we didn't
get any. But pretty much everywhere around us did. That is pretty
much the opposite of how it goes around here. Turned out sunny
and cold instead. I spent most of the weekend doing some early
spring cleaning. I think I may have killed some new form of life
behind/under the washer and dryer...


1 comments
Most Recent Post: 02/06 03:09PM by Anonymous

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