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Late Show Top Ten
Top Ten Signs You Have a Bad Travel Agent
10. Hotel stay is six days and two nights
9. Accepts payment in the form of personal check, credit card or
freshly harvested kidneys
8. Won't let you go on vacation for more than a week because he'll
miss you
7. When you're in New York, he recommends you see a taping of
"The Late Show"
6. Instead of the Ritz, you're staying at the Ratz
5. Your "plane ticket" is a post-it note with the handwritten
message "Please admit one to the airplane"
4. You have a layover at Laguardia Airport . . . an eight-day
layover
3. No number 3 - writer on vacation
2. Forget the restroom - you're riding in a JetBlue wheel well
1. Asks you to deliver a brown paper bag to a guy named Nikoli
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| Author: |
ThievingJoker |
| Dated: |
Monday, April 20 2009 @ 01:24 AM EDT |
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51 times |
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 Current Members: 3825 getting mailing / 1492 in Yahoo bouncing limbo
Sorry for the lack of mailings. I've been working too much lately. 2 comments
Most Recent Post: 05/28 05:46PM by Anonymous
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| Author: |
ThievingJoker |
| Dated: |
Saturday, March 21 2009 @ 03:04 AM EDT |
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48 times |
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Current Members: 3827 getting mailing / 1479 in Yahoo bouncing limbo
Heading for the hills again tomorrow... 1 comments
Most Recent Post: 05/04 12:27PM by Anonymous
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| Author: |
ThievingJoker |
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Wednesday, March 18 2009 @ 10:03 AM EDT |
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Current Members: 3828 getting mailing / 1498 in Yahoo bouncing limbo
Went snowboarding on Sunday and Monday. Perfect timing, they got lots of new snow. Had a great time, wore my legs out :-)
Got to go into the new section of the hill that opened a few
years ago but I have not been able to get into. It's called the
Outback. It has a lift called the Boomerang that takes you up
to the top then continues down the other side. So you can take
the lift back up from either side. All the runs have names with
an aussie theme, like Dingo and Crikey. And they are all double
black diamond. I think they named them wrong though. They should
be named things like "Holy Crap" and "What was I Thinking" :-)
That being said, I'm sure I'll go back there again, but it needs
more snow before I do... 1 comments
Most Recent Post: 05/04 12:27PM by Anonymous
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| Author: |
ThievingJoker |
| Dated: |
Wednesday, March 11 2009 @ 02:18 AM EDT |
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35 times |
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Current Members: 3825 getting mailing / 1474 in Yahoo bouncing limbo
It was my dad's birthday today, and while we were over there they
wanted me to put up a new light over the kitchen table. I've put
up lots of lights, so I say no problem. 15 minutes.
Bzzzzt! Wrong. It took an hour and a half, and a lot of
swearing. It was designed to go up just fine in a very narrow
set of circumstances, otherwise a huge pain in the ass requiring
additional parts.
It's not the first time I've come across a light fixture that seemed
to be designed by a sadist/idiot, and I am sure it won't be the
last. But every time I deal with one, I re-confirm to myself that
light fixture designers need to die horrible deaths. As Karnak would
say, "May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in their shorts." 1 comments
Most Recent Post: 05/04 12:27PM by Anonymous
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| Author: |
ThievingJoker |
| Dated: |
Monday, March 09 2009 @ 01:37 AM EDT |
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Current Members: 3824 getting mailing / 1480 in Yahoo bouncing limbo
Spent the weekend at the ski hill. It was sunny the whole weekend
(well, except for an hour at lunch on Saturday, when the there
was a blizzard. Freaky!
Anyhow. Due to lack of snow earlier this year, the only stuff open
was the groomed runs, but it was nice because they were not icy
like groomed runs often get. Spent the weekend going fast fast
fast. My legs are sore now :-)
Had to take one picture to gloat for those not able to go (just
a cameraphone pic, so not so great a quality photo, sadly)
http://flickr.com/photos/thievingjoker/3339059158/ 2 comments
Most Recent Post: 05/05 10:05PM by Anonymous
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| Author: |
ThievingJoker |
| Dated: |
Friday, March 06 2009 @ 01:53 AM EST |
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41 times |
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Current Members: 3823 getting mailing / 1500 in Yahoo bouncing limbo
On the way home there was a jackass in a BMW, behaving like many
BMW drivers (you know the type. Tailgating, agressive lane changes,
etc). Today's was no different, but wasn't getting anywhere due
to traffic. But still driving like God's gift to automotive prowess.
Anyhow, he accelerates by me as we enter a particularly twisty
bit, then slams on the brakes and slows way the hell down in a
panic. Chickenshit. Your BMW 6 series can't get though a corner
faster than a Corolla with snowtires?
Maybe he got distracted by a phone call from the Bavarians asking
for their car back because he doesn't have the stones to drive it...
Of course, as soon a we hit a straight stretch, he gunned it and
disappeared (but at the end of the straight stretch I saw a flash
of brake lights as he went into the next corner).
Hell, if you can't corner and can only go fast in a straight line,
it would have been cheaper to buy a Camaro... 1 comments
Most Recent Post: 05/04 12:27PM by Anonymous
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| Author: |
ThievingJoker |
| Dated: |
Thursday, March 05 2009 @ 12:47 AM EST |
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37 times |
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Current Members: 3823 getting mailing / 1507 in Yahoo bouncing limbo
While we were in Mexico, we rented a car. Not a whole lot of fun
renting a car in Mexico. Too complicated and expensive. $105 USD
for the car for 2 weeks. $500 to insure it. And after seeing most
cars there are banged up, I could see it really is necessary.
After the car they were going to give us had something wrong with
it, they gave us a "Dodge Attitude". I put that name in quotes
because other than the logos on the front/back/steering wheel,
it was otherwise 100% a Hyundai Accent. A crappy little car There
were lots of them down there. All rentals. Mostly all the same
baby blue colour.
The CD player skipped at the tiniest bumps including when you closed
the glovebox.
Best part of it was on the way back to the airport on the last
day. In Cancun, you get off the highway onto an offramp that curls
up and back over the highway onto the road to the airport. At the
top of the ramp, there is a stop sign. I stopped, and when I when
to start moving again, the car just kind of went "Huh..". So I
gunned it. And it when "Hhuuuuhhh..." At this point I am wondering
if I am going to have to back down the ramp to take a run at it,
when it finally started moving. 1 comments
Most Recent Post: 05/04 12:28PM by Anonymous
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| Author: |
ThievingJoker |
| Dated: |
Wednesday, March 04 2009 @ 01:09 AM EST |
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36 times |
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Current Members: 3824 getting mailing / 1505 in Yahoo bouncing limbo
During the ThievingJoker's hiatus, we went to Mexico for a vacation
for two weeks. As some of you may recall from last year, our trip to
Kauai didn't start out too well and we ended up with free airfare
vouchers for another trip this year. We wanted to go back to Kauai
(loved it there), but due to an unacknowledged restriction on our
free fare vouchers, we could not go to anywhere in Hawaii this
year. So we went to the Mayan Riviera. It was the first time we
had been to Mexico, we don't speak Spanish, and we tend to head
off the beaten track, so it turned out to be quite a bit more
challenging than we had planned.
More on that to come... 1 comments
Most Recent Post: 05/04 12:27PM by Anonymous
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| Author: |
ThievingJoker |
| Dated: |
Tuesday, March 03 2009 @ 12:29 AM EST |
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47 times |
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Current Members: 3826 getting mailing / 1519 in Yahoo bouncing limbo
Hi folks!
I've been gone a long time (I know), but I'm back now!
It may sound odd, but I've been both working and vacationing too
much. Too much overtime when I am at work, then taking vacation to
burn through all the accumulated vacation and banked time. Leaving
me a bit burned out. But I think I'm recovering :-)
So over the next little while, as I get back into this, I'll try
to bring you up to date with what I've been up to for the last
few months.
With that, here is the first set of LONG awaited jokes. 1 comments
Most Recent Post: 05/04 12:28PM by Anonymous
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| Author: |
ThievingJoker |
| Dated: |
Tuesday, March 03 2009 @ 12:24 AM EST |
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40 times |
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Current Members: 3827 getting mailing / 1506 in Yahoo bouncing limbo
So, where was I?
Ah yes.
So, in December, we got a lot of snow. We still even have some of
it left in the shaded parts of the property. But the ice on the
pond has started to recede finally, as of this weekend. Which is
completely crazy. Being on the west coast, we never have snow like
this. It's the first time I remember having snow on the ground for
3 straight months. The local ski hills on the other hand have been
having a terrible season. While we were getting all the snow at my
place in December, the ski hills were having summer temperatures
due to a temperature inversion.
Even Whistler resort (where the Winter Olympics are next year)
has not gotten the usual amount of snow. I was up there last week
and while we got lucky and the mountains got a dump of fresh snow
the night we arrived (and the next night too), there was nowhere
near the usual great snow base underneath it. So it was great snow
on top of pure danger. My snowboard didn't survive the trip. It is
now relegated to being my rock board, after 10 years of faithful
service. So I am shopping for new gear, but due to the crappy
season, the gear is mostly gone from the shops already. Luckily,
my favourite shop in Vancouver (the Boardroom) still has what I
want, at great sale prices, so I think it will work out fine. 1 comments
Most Recent Post: 05/04 12:28PM by Anonymous
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I've started putting the intros from the joke mailings onto the site. Like it?
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